The next thing that may go in your mouth may kill you!!! And trouser snakes!

Wow, it's been way over a month since I made a blog.  I actually wanted to do one last week, but I never got the chance.

Anyway, there must have been a hex on me last Thursday... or maybe it was good luck.  I was sitting at my desk at work, just after 10am when I got my first coffee of the day (I'm slowly cutting back on my caffine intake in the morning... or I'm just too lazy to walk downstairs to the kitchen).  Anywho, I went to take a sip of my coffee and after doing so I felt something "lumpy" in my mouth.  So naturally I spit the coffee back into my cup.  I thought it may have been spoiled milk, but it wasn't.  Instead I was staring at a fly that decided to drown itself in my coffee... WTF!  So people, before you put something in your mouth, look at it first and make sure it isn't something that may be covered in disease... hehehe!

Just when I thought my day would pan out nicely after that, we had a fire drill at work.  So we all evacuated the building and went to the side of the building on the open field.  I was standing there waiting for us to head back in when all of a sudden I feel something tickling my leg.  I look down and notice a baby grass snake trying to move up into my pants (maybe it was a trouser snake, haha... ha I'm such a comedian!) 

Anyway, I have pics of both incidences that occured that day (the pic of the snake is someone elses dirty ass hand, not mine).

Purple monkey dishwasher!
Pat

The Commute and the Gawkers

Man, maybe my life is too busy and exciting that I don't need to blog - it's been almost a month since my last post.

Well it's Sunday and it's the day before I have to drag my ass back to work for another five day week. Work is actually not that bad, I like the new challenges that I have to face at work. But the only thing that I hate about my day is the commute. All of you suckers who drive to and from Toronto everyday may think I'm being a pussy, but I'm not here to compare my commute.

Everyday, I leave my neighbourhood in north Waterloo, hit the Expressway to Hwy 8, cross the Grand River bridge, take 401 east and exit on the Hanlon Expy to the south end of Guelph. It's about a 48km commute that takes about 35 min on a good day. Usually the drive to work is fine, but there is always some asshole who thinks that their life is too important to drive like the rest of us that they should weave through rush hour traffic to go to wherever douche job or drug deal they have to be at. I've been in a hurry before, but never in a hurry to manoeuvre like a maniac by not signalling and cutting people off while putting others in danger. And it's always a douchebag with a BMW or Lexus who does that, you ever notice that... or a big King Kong mega douche-turd with a tricked out Honda Civic or Acura.

And another thing, since when has the "fast lane" turn into the "slow lane"??? Call me old-fashion, but the far left lane of a highway I thought was to bypass slower cars ahead of you, and if you're in the fast lane and you have someone riding on your tail with a 50 car line up behind you, you better get the fuck over! I'm too nice when I'm on the road... I should start honking my horn more and giving the finger, that usually works. Maybe I'll go to bulk barn and get a bag of gobstopper and start chucking them at cars.

Construction is a bit of a bother... more so at night than during the day, which I can live with. The Grand River bridge is being widened and there were two accidents on the bridge last week on the way to work. It's people who gawk to see the bridge construction and the road is so bumpy and windy they lose control of their vehicle and run into the median or another vehicle. People who stop and gawk at whatever, whether it be construction or an accident, annoys the fuck out of me. Don't get me wrong, I gawk all the time, but don't slow everyone behind me down. We all have that human urge to see accidents, to see only one thing... "an injured person" and we all have that dyer urge to see it (it's in our nature, it's not a sick thing). And as you slowly go by the accident scene and you see that nobody is there, you go "damn, nothing... after all of that waiting!"

Say what you want, about 90% of the time that's what drivers are thinking when they drive by accidents, I don't care what you say.

Anyway, hopefully that was inspiring and changed your life. Smell ya later.

Pat

So, I have joined another cult!

Well, another part of me has died today... that is because I have decided to start.... barf... Blogging!  It's not all that bad though, it allows me to cathartically release what is building up on my mind, maybe vent a little, and allow my pain and suffering bring joy to everyone else's lives!

So as you can tell, I'm a bit on the bitter-side today (yes, I have a case of the Mondays!)  I don't know why... maybe I'm "backed up" from all the crap that I ate over the weekend in the US.  I had a great weekend with my best buddies at Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH... best amusement park EVER!  I always feel depressed though after coming home from vacation, because now I have to face that long haul of work until my next trip.  I actually get stressed just driving back home, where all of my problems are (debt, bills, annoying family, the Amex bill from my trip, lol).  However, it's stuff everyone deals with so I shouldn't feel too bad.  I try my best to look forward to the good times ahead.

Anyway, I'm gonna keep this short n' sweet tonight.  I'll come up with something hopefully a little more positive tomorrow, or whenever I get back to this!

Balls,
Pat